I just watched his movie and although it was a nice heart warming type of film, it reminded me I have my hospital appointment at the end of the month and the fact that I’ve been ignoring the problem again. When I think about it, I get upset and emotional and I feel sick and I hurt. So I don’t think about it, I bottle it up, push it away and try and bury it. It’s a short term fix as sometime, I’m not entirely sure when, all I can be sure about is its going to come. It’s going to come worst than last time and I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know what the problem is, just it’s been there for nearly 14 years that I can remember, probably longer.

I would like to wake up one day and not feel worthless, not to feel sick that I am who I am and not be angry and not to hurt inside. Not to much to ask?